Naked Teen Walking with Large Poodle Alledgedly Assaults Woman
I thought it might be difficult to manifest some good ideas for a blog posting. Then, this little gem of a story hit the press. I can only imagine the mental trauma and anguish that comes as a result of being assaulted. Depending on the circumstances, I’m betting some people never fully recover from such an ordeal. I’m guessing nothing will send you to the therapist’s couch quicker than being assaulted, nevermind being assaulted by a naked boy and his big pet Poodle.
Apparently our boy here walked away from a behavioral treatment facility. Really? Now, I’ve never been in a behavioral treatment facility, but if they are anything like they are on TV, I’m guessing there are more than a few hired goons on the staff, whose sole purpose is to be on the lookout for strange and potentially hazzardous shenanigans. I guess no one thought it odd when little Johnny No-Britches went sauntering past the reception desk and out the front door. “See you in a little while, nurse. I’m gonna go grab a Shamrock Shake and air our my nether regions.” “Oh, okay, do you mind taking Fifi with you? She hasn’t been out all day.”
He was “strolling unclothed”. Isn’t it the middle of March in Michigan? Probably not 82 with a light Southerly breeze. I’m gonna go out on a limb that maybe he approached the woman to ask for a blanket before he had to go Star Wars style on Rover and gut him to stay warm. Dude probably wanted to borrow a pair of pliers to help extract his nutts from his coccyx as well.
The woman immediately realized something was peculiar. Thank God for that. She must be the chair at all of the neighborhood watch meetings. That’s one neighborhood in the country that is safe from Al Qaida. Nice job Clouseau. Then they spoke briefly. How’d that conversation go? “Pardon me miss, might you have a pair of trousers and a milk bone?” “Why, yes I…..wait….you’re naked. And you have a white poodle.” I suspect the poodle was there to distract from the nakedness. Isn’t it interesting that no one would have thought to title this as Naked Poodle with Large White Boy Attacks Woman? If you think about it, it’s just as true as the way it is written. Allthough the dog did not make a play for the woman’s phone.
The only thing that would have made this better would have been if the boy fled the scene riding the white poodle. I love that they charged him for “strong armed robbery”. Shouldn’t he have been charged with being naked in public? Or possession of a large white poodle? I’m sure there’s a law against that somewhere.
I’m sure there is a therapist somewhere in Michigan doing his best to keep a straight face right about now.
